27 Funny Customer Service Quotes

Brighten up your day and entertain your team with these customer service quotes that are sure to make you laugh out loud.

27 funny customer service quotes

1. "It never ceases to amaze me that companies spend millions to attract new customers (people they don’t know) and spend next to nothing to keep the ones they’ve got! Seems to me the budgets should be reversed!." – Tom Peters, Speaker and Author

2. "A smile is a curve that sets things straight." – Unknown

3. "Deep down, we believe that the problem put simply, is THEM. They, of course, believe WE are the problem." – Unknown

4. "I won't complain. I just won't come back." – Brown & Williamson Tobacco Ad

5. "Customers long to interact with — even relate to — employees who act like there is still a light on inside." – Chip Bell, Founder Chip Bell Group

6. "Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face, especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are a housewife, architect or engineer." – Dale Carnegie, Best Selling Author

7. "If anybody ever called our number, it would be picked up in less than two rings with a friendly voice answering, 'CD Baby.' From 7 am to 10 pm, there was always somebody to pick up a call in two rings. No voice mail system; no routing to different departments. We treated our customers like our best friends. You don't route your best friend's call to an automated system!" – Derek Sivers, Founder CD Baby

8. "Although your customers won't love you if you give bad service, your competitors will." – Kate Zabriskie, Founder Business Training Works

9. "When a customer has a complaint, use the Italian Momma method: Think of your customer as the little bambino that took a spill on the sidewalk. Channel your inner Italian mother and shower your customers with attention and genuine concern when they come to you with an issue. Just as the bambino who survived his tumble largely unscathed, a customer's perspective of the situation will wind up getting reset. Essentially, the mountain shrinks into a molehill." – Micah Solomon, Author of High-Tech, High-Touch Customer Service

10. "The first step in exceeding your customer's expectations is to know those expectations." – Roy H. Williams, Author Wizard of Ads Trilogy

11. "Customers perceive service in their own unique, idiosyncratic, emotional, irrational, end-of-the-day, and totally human terms. Perception is all there is!" – Tom Peters, Best-Selling Author

12. "Customer: A person who indirectly pays for all your vacations, hobbies, and golf games and gives you the opportunity to better yourself." – Unknown

13. "The only thing worse than training employees and losing them is not training them and keeping them." – Zig Ziglar, Author and Motivational Speaker

14. "A brand not responding on Twitter is like hanging up the phone on customers. With millions watching." – Dave Kerpen, Co-founder of Likeable Media

15. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work." – Thomas Edison, Inventor and Businessman

16. "Swallowing your pride occasionally will never give you indigestion." – Unknown

17. "A shoe without sex appeal is like a tree without leaves. Service without emotion is like a shoe without sex appeal." – Unknown

18. "A satisfied customer — we should have him stuffed!" – Basil Fawlty, Main Character on British Sitcom Falwty Towers

19. "Sales without Customer Service is like stuffing money into a pocket full of holes." – David Tooman, Customer Service Professional

20. "I don't like customer service, because I don't believe the customer should have to pay and help out too." – Jarod Kintz, Author E-mails from a Madman

21. "All businesses need to be young forever. If your customer base ages with you, you're Woolworth's." – Jeff Bezos, Founder Amazon

22. "Customers are like teeth. Ignore them and they'll go away." – Jerry Flanagan, State Farm Agent

23. "If you have a job without aggravations, you don't have a job." – Malcolm Forbes, Former Publisher of Forbes Magazine

24. "I empathize with women in their high heels so I'll be there in my kilt and T-shirt and I'll walk around all day just to prove that if I can wear the shoes for 36 hours then certainly our customer can wear them." – Marc Jacobs, Fashion Designer

25. "You know your business model is broken when you're suing your customers." – Paul Graham, Venture Capitalist and Co-founder of Y Combinator

26. "It's better to hang out with people better than you. Pick out associates whose behavior is better than yours and you'll drift in that direction." – Warren Buffett, Business Magnate

27. "Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3," – Randy Glasbergen, Cartoonist

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